


valentine's surprise

by mari_cheres (spiritedwhere)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Comedy, Funny, Gen, I wrote it on a whim, comedic, don't pay this any attention, pls dkjdssd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 11:44:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17807378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritedwhere/pseuds/mari_cheres
Summary: every valentine's day, a gossip magazine reveals a new couple. this year, the group is in for a surprise.





	valentine's surprise

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh yeah there's nothing for this other than i wanted to laugh lmao. also this is two days late but happy valentine's day.

“So, who do you think it’s gonna be?”

Marinette feels Alya’s arm come around and hug her from behind, effectively holding her in place.

“Think who’s gonna be what?” she asks, twisting her neck around to catch Alya’s gaze. Meeting up for lunch was always difficult but meeting up on Valentine’s Day was even more of an issue, causing the girls and boys to split and head for a semi-empty, more expensive than usual café as their safe place for the hour. There, they could sit and eat in peace, while avoiding ravenous Adrien fans and the constant turning of heads whenever Alya or Marinette got too loud to handle.

“This year’s couple, of course.” Unwrapping her arms and sitting next to her, Alya looks at Marinette and sighs. “Come on girl, don’t tell me you forgot. I texted you like four times last night about turning notifications on.”

“Last night, huh?” Marinette repeats. Last night she had been out, fighting a restless akuma and throwing herself onto her bed before the suit came off. Her phone was as much importance as the dirt on the ground beneath her, ignored and almost left behind in her haste to get to school.

“Mari, you’re so out of the loop! The Valentine’s Day couple comes out today at noon! Don’t tell me you aren’t the slightest bit excited!”

“Oh… oh!” Reaching for her phone, Marinette unlocks and heads over to _La Petite Chemise_ , pulling up the homepage to see _“Who Will Be Revealed in 12 Minutes? Stay tuned!”_ taking front and center for the website. “I totally forgot.”

“How could you? They’re basically only known for their Valentine’s couple and then those silly outfit quizzes everyone takes between class.”

“Well, Valentine’s Day only comes once a year. It’s easy to let it slip your mind.”

“Yeah, when you’re not dating anyone,” Alya says, rolling her eyes. “For everyone else, it’s practically a nightmare.”

“I feel bad for Ladybug and Chat Noir,” Marinette comments, already dreading the day as it went on. “I can’t dare to imagine what kind of akumas will spring up today.”

“Speaking of them…” Alya leans in closer to Marinette, hand already cupped to her mouth, “I bet they’re the Valentine’s couple this year.”

“As if!” Marinette scoffs, pushing Alya away and waving her hand so as to brush her off. “There’s no way they would ever wind up together.”

“You act like they personally told you that,” Alya says. “I’ve met them more times than you, and I can confirm there’s totally some chance of Ladynoir happening.”

“Ladynoir?”

“Their ship name,” Alya explains, ignoring the way Marinette’s jaw drops. “And no, I didn’t make it up, though I wish I could claim it.”

“That’s… that’s so…”

“Typical of teens to do when watching chemistry between two superheroes? Gosh, Mari, if you weren’t such a downer on them, maybe you’d actually notice literally everyone else in Paris wants them to be together. I mean, they’re partners for God’s sake. It’s like written in the stars for them at this point.”

“Partners in _fighting crime_! Not partners in _dating_!”

“They’ve kissed before,” Alya singsongs out, grabbing the edges of the table and leaning over comically to Marinette.

“To break what was basically a spell Chat Noir was under! He was practically a puppet under that akuma’s control!”

“Yeah, but how did it work? Because it was true love’s kiss!”

“You’re incredible,” Marinette mutters, watching as Alya happily slumps in her chair, giving up any use in fending off her rebuttals. “I can’t believe you’re so into this idea that they’re a ‘couple’.”

“You can stop with the imaginary quotations, Mari, because I’m totally sure they’re a thing. And, the moment it hits noon, we’ll finally get proof!”

“You act like _La Petite Chemise_ is something reliable. All they ever post is vague “rumored seeing each other so and so months ago” and blurry, zoomed in pictures late at night. Nothing is ever solid with those couples.”

“Yeah, but they always turn out to be true. Last year it was Lila and Chloé, and the year before that was Jagged Stone and his assistant, and this year it’s going to be Ladybug and Chat Noir!”

“Sure, it will Alya. And then, Chat Noir and Ladybug are going to get married in the Louvre and build a nice house on top of the Eiffel Tower and yo-yo off into the sunset together!”

“You sure have an active imagination, Marinette.” Adrien sits across from them with Nino, both chuckling at Marinette. She flushes, already raising a hand to her mouth to cover her face.

“Oh, don’t get too excited, Adrien. We’re just talking about who we think the Valentine couple of the year is gonna be. Any suggestions?”

“I got nothing, folks,” Adrien says, holding out his hands in mock surrender. Nudging Nino, his best friend shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders.

“I’m just as clueless as you are,” Nino says, turning to Alya. “What do you think, Al?”

“Well, I’m holding out for Ladynoir, but Marinette here is seriously crimping my style here.”

“Ladynoir?” Nino asks.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir,” Adrien supplies, answering before Alya can. The trio stare at him, eyebrows raised.

“You keep up with the shipping of those two?” Alya asks.

“Well, I just hear things from the other models during shoots. Enough to know it’s a thing, apparently,” Adrien says, feeling his cheeks burn. Of course, it’s not like he looks up compilations on YouTube of Ladynoir moments or has a few fics saved on his phone for entertainment. Of course, he doesn’t. That’d be silly.

“It’s a dumb thing,” Marinette mutters, drawing attention back to her. “I mean, there’s no way they can be a couple. How does a superhero even get that close to another superhero?”

“Well I mean, Carapace and Rena Rouge are pretty close, don’t you think?” Nino mentions. He throws a wink to Alya, one that goes over Adrien’s head and causes Marinette to turn her head and roll her eyes at their lack of hiding their super alter egos in favor of flirts.

 _Those damn lovebirds_ , she thinks. _That’s exactly what can’t happen to Ladybug and Chat Noir, not like it’ll_ ever _happen._

“Maybe they’ll be the couple instead,” Marinette says.

“Nope, it’s gonna be Chat Noir and Ladybug. Trust me on this.” Alya pulls out her phone, one minute left before the article releases. “I heard from some trusted sources in the journalism world that Chat Noir made up half of the Valentine couple, and it doesn’t take many braincells to connect who the other half is.”

Marinette rolls her eyes, already wondering if she was allowed to make a statement using the Notes app and post a screenshot on her Ladybug Twitter refuting the article. She would have to tell Chat in advance, just to make sure he didn’t get over his head and accept it or take it as another opportunity to pour his heart out to her again.

“It’s out!” Alya shrieks, startling the table. Clicking on the article, she anxiously awaits it to load, causing the others to lean in to see what’ll fill her screen.

What fills it up causes a shrill scream that rings through the café, stunning the very few people seated around them.

“This can’t be! It was supposed to be Ladynoir! Ladynoir! I… I waited for this day for _months_! _What the fuck_?”

“Alya, calm down,” Marinette says, Nino already reaching over to pat the stunned journalist’s shoulders. Marinette strangely feels a sense of calm, maybe before the storm emerges or the dam breaks or whatever metaphor could explain what was making her feel so at ease, so tranquil even when facing the most shocking event in her life.

“How can I calm down?” Alya exclaims. She refreshes the webpage and sees the same title pop up. Scrolling, she sees the photos, which were pretty incriminating. She blinks, pushes up her glasses again, and refreshes once more. Chat Noir crawling through his window late at night and never leaving. Ducking into dark alleys with Adrien walking out and tugging on his clothes only moments later. Interviews where Adrien was saying what a great and handsome guy Chat Noir was, and Chat Noir saying that his favorite cologne was Adrien’s.

“I could’ve sworn it would be Ladybug but… it’s _you_!”

Pointing a manicured finger, she aims it at Adrien, the blond unable to speak in his defense.

“I put down forty euros in a betting pool! I was sure they would’ve revealed Ladynoir, but instead it’s… it’s… “

“Chatrien? Adrinoir?” Nino suggests, bringing a finger to his chin in thought. “Hmm… neither are particularly good. What do you think, Adrien?”

“Either is fine,” he answers, meek.

“I kinda like Adrinoir,” Marinette says. Her mind is at a blank, wondering where to even begin. Her (long since died down) crush, dating the one guy she was _sure_ liked her. How long had Chat Noir been professing his love, when he had model and overall hottie Adrien Agreste on speed dial? Not that she was _jealous_ or anything, but she had expected _more_ from Chat. At least a heads up that he had been dating someone would’ve been fine.

 _Oh, is he so getting chewed out next time we meet up,_ she thinks, feeling her calmness shift into slight anger. _How dare he play with my feelings- even though I don’t care – all while having a boyfriend._

“You want to explain this to us? We knew you were bi, but c’mon dude, letting me know _you_ were the Valentine’s couple would’ve saved me out on a lot of cash, Agreste.” Alya sighs, looking up and arching a brow at Adrien. “You are _so_ picking up the check today.”

“And yeah, why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were _bros_ , bro,” Nino chimes in, pouting.

Unsure of how to settle the mishap, Adrien weighs his options, which aren’t many. Either he can admit his secret identity to all of Paris, or he can play along and find a way to break up with himself later.

Needless to say, it’s not a hard choice.

 _Yeah, I can do_ that, he agrees. _I’ll just have to… date myself?_

“Well, we met during an akuma attack,” he lies. “I needed shelter, and he took me to an alley to hide out. Uh, after that I invited him to come hang at my place to thank him, and it all just happened from there. We’ve uh, been keeping it on the low for now, just to protect me from any enemies and him from hatred.”

“Is he cute?”

“Yeah, totally. If you ask me, he’s like, so cool too.”

“How long have you been dating?”

“As long as the article says,” Adrien says, not bothering to check. Can’t have been that long, right?

“ _Six months_?”

“Uh, yep!”

Adrien gulps. So maybe he _should_ check, just in case.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me @mari-cheres on tumblr, and @inuyashas_ on twit :) (i'm annoying on both dw)


End file.
